On Wednesday my Cultured Body class discussed the "invisibility of the poor" and today I experienced that full force and I really wanted to share what happened with you.
I was sitting outside of a Starbucks in DC when an older man approached me. He was slightly hunched over and very tentative when he extended his cup to me. All he asked for was the change from my coffee. As I don't carry cash I was unable to give him anything and he said that was alright and wished me a good day. I watched him walk up to the next woman who quickly started to busy herself with her toddler and then mumbled that she didn't have anything and quickly averted her eyes, flicking them up a few times to see if he was still there, as if she was embarrassed of her own response. Then he moved to the next woman, who happened to be on the phone. Without so much as even looking up she puts her finger in her open ear as if his gentle asking was as annoying as buses going by. I was immediately appalled at her audacity. To be someone with so much privilege and apparent financial stability, and still unwilling to assist others. And then I got that horrible feeling when you realize you've done something incredibly hypocritical.
How dare I judge her, when I could have given and I did nothing? While I don't carry cash I do have resources: phone apps connected to my banking, a credit card. After catching up to the older man I told him that while I don't have cash I would be happy to buy him lunch if he wanted to go to Panera or one of the shops. He chose Subway and on the way I learned that his name was Reggie and that he was supporting his sister and daughter. His daughter is a full time student and he's very proud of her, all of the money he makes at his job on the Metro goes toward her school and he goes out to try to "pull" for his sister who's at home. He was extremely polite and careful with my safety as we crossed the road (he made sure a right turning car wasn't going to hit me). When we got to Subway Reggie ordered the cheapest thing he could and asked if it was alright order a cookie along with his sandwich. He hugged me quickly after lunch and thanked me, which really gave me something to think about: why is giving to those who are struggling such a big deal? Why isn't that the normal thing.
Reggie didn't coerce me, guilt me, or anyway try to convince me to help him. He wasn't rude, he didn't abuse the help I was offering, and he definitely didn't take it for granted. People have so many little excuses for why they don't extend a helping hand, and that's not considered wrong. It's normal. This whole experience just really made me question why not helping is normal and accepted, and why helping makes someone a hero. Helping someone in need is an act of empathy, it's a human characteristic, why is acting like a human in specific cases such an amazing act?
